I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
