I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
