You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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