I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
