I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
