"it" just moved
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
