We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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