no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im holly from the hills drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
