i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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