saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
