Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This house was built for laser tag.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
