these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
