So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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