I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize