I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
