Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
