You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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