Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
