How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Mom said you looked used
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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