Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
