i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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