I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
