I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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