absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
