No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
