Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
