she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
