Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
