I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
