I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
