I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
