Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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