need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
