My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
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