So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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