So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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