Don't make out with my wife yet
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
