Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize