bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
