i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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