hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
