I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
