my mouth tastes like poor choices
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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