Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
