no, he came in my armpit
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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