And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
