i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
