Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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