Kiss
Puke
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
