$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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