she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
