you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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