How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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