i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
