Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You need Xanax blowdarts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
