I wish I could punch you in the face.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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