do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
