There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
