dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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