physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
ugly people sure do ruin things
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
